Ideas for Planning and Organizing a Modern Wedding Shower

by Karen Watson
Updated April 25, 2010

Wedding showers, also known as bridal showers, have romantic beginnings. According to oral legends, the friends of the bride would gather together and bring gifts, ensuring that she would have enough dowries to marry the man she loves. These ancient “wedding showers” were most likely held for brides who did not have a dowry because her father did not approve of the groom. The monetary value of wedding showers made it tacky for the bride’s mother to host the wedding shower.

But today, the purpose of wedding showers is radically different. The fate of the bride and groom no longer hinges on whether or not enough dowries can be collected during the wedding shower. In fact, a wedding can take place even without a wedding shower. The modern wedding shower is an opportunity for the friends of the bride and groom to show their support of the upcoming marriage in a fun, relaxed, and informal setting.

What is a modern wedding shower?
A modern wedding shower is a fun party that is planned and organized mainly by the bridesmaids but one of the bride’s friends, who may not be part of the entourage, can also put it together. The wedding shower can take place anywhere, such as a beach, a restaurant, or a rented party room. It can also be held in the house of the bride’s mother. A bridal shower hosted by the bride’s mother is no longer viewed as tacky because it is the last chance of the bride’s family and friends to enjoy each other before the wedding. Gift giving, of course, is still practiced but the gifts need not be practical. In fact, the gifts can be silly and suggestive of the wedding night. And finally, wedding showers are no longer an exclusive activity for the bride and her female friends. The groom and the male friends can join the party!

How to organize a modern wedding shower?
If you are the one assigned to organize a thoroughly modern wedding shower, then here are few tips that can help you put together an enjoyable and affordable bridal shower.

1. When: The bridal shower should be held at least two months before the anticipated wedding day. The party invitations, of course, should be sent weeks ahead. To allow many of the couple’s working friends to attend, the bridal shower should be scheduled on a weekend afternoon, however, this is not a rigid rule.

2. Who: The guests of the wedding shower should be those who were invited to the wedding. It would be awkward to explain why you would invite someone to the wedding shower and not to the wedding. If you plan to include the groom and some male friends, make sure that the activity you choose would be meaningful and romantic for the couple.

3. Where: An all-female wedding shower can be a day at the spa but a male-and-female party should revolve around the wedding’s theme or the couple’s favorite. For example, if the couple loves tennis, the wedding shower can be in a tennis court. Keep in mind that there is nothing wrong with hosting the party at a house.